ServiceNope™ — IT Support Simulator

Incident INC0048271

● OPEN

⏱ SLA breach in 04:59

Caller

🧑‍💼New Ticketawaiting nonsense

Priority

1 - Critical (allegedly)

Category

Hardware / Software / Vibes

Assignment group

You (again)

Short description (as typed by the user, verbatim)

Booting up the ticketing system…

Resolution — apply a canned response* required (you cannot save without lying a little)

🔔 System Notifications

🗒 Activity Stream — Work Notes▼

A satirical game. No printers were harmed. (They were already broken.) ServiceNope™ is not a real product, thank goodness.

Game Over

Help Desk Intern

The Human Shield

📋 Exit Interview

How to Play

You are IT support inside ServiceNope™. Users raise incidents. Ludicrous, impossible, load-bearing incidents. Each ticket gives you three canned responses — unlabelled, so read them:

Deflect — "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Closes tickets fast, but users escalate and your Escalation Risk climbs toward HR.

Actually solve it — genuinely fixing it lowers your Escalation Risk but drains Sanity, and word spreads you're useful (a Ticket Avalanche).

Brutal honesty — cathartic (restores Sanity), but telling users the truth spikes your Escalation Risk. Dangerous. Delicious.

Watch out for

⭐ VIP tickets (usually a self-important assistant): deflecting on their behalf costs double Escalation Risk.

🚶 "Quick Question" ambushes: cornered in the corridor, no good options exist.

⚡ On-call lightning rounds: while On Call, some tickets give you 10 seconds to answer or it goes over your head — badly.

🙋 "Escalate to my manager" sometimes appears as a 4th option. It's a weak safety valve, not a strategy — barely any XP, and the odds aren't always in your favour. Lean on it and you'll stall out and burn out.

📋 Bureaucracy: CAB rejections, Compliance/License Audits, Sprint Retros and Quarterly Reviews will periodically interrupt you. You can't skip them. Nobody can.

💬 Screams pop-ups can appear in the corner — your manager sending one confusing word, or a user who's skipped the ticket system entirely. You only get Respond or Ignore. Neither is free.

🧭 Wrong Team tickets: sometimes the caller has messaged IT about something that isn't remotely IT's problem. All three replies still apply — deflect, actually help by redirecting them properly, or bluntly explain this isn't your department.

🎒 Consumables: Coffee restores Sanity, a WFH Day skips a ticket (the queue remembers), a Scapegoat dumps Escalation Risk on "the network team."

Don't flatline either meter

Sanity hits 0% → catastrophic burnout.

Escalation Risk hits 100% → escalated to HR, access revoked.

Climb to Tier 12 to win (and remain underpaid).

Your first 3 tickets are always calm — no statuses, ambushes, chat pings, or bureaucracy. After that, all bets are off.

Progress, achievements and best score save only in this browser. The SLA timer is cosmetic; its judgement is real.

How to Play

Watch out for

Don't flatline either meter

Achievements

📇 Caller Directory

🔒 Session Expired

☰ Navigation

🔔 Notifications

🕘 Ticket History —

INC0012345